Day 4

Today was, for the most part, pretty manageable. I was reminded a couple of times, though, that I don't want to forgive Husband. I don't feel like he cares whether I do or not. I don't believe that he's sorry for his actions. It's easy to tell myself that I have every right to be angry for the way I've been treated. I feel like I was the best wife I knew how to be, and though I wasn't faultless, I did nothing to deserve this outcome. It's infuriating when I really think about it. This brings me to today's lesson.

DO WHAT YOU'RE TOLD.
So often as a Christian I get caught up in the "not doing wrong must mean I'm doing right" mindset. You know what I mean. There are many people out there who believe that if they're not lying, cheating, stealing, getting drunk, doing drugs, or being promiscuous, they are keeping their lives free of sin. That is, according to scriptural principles, a load of crap.

"So then, if you know the good you ought to do and do not do it, you sin." James 4:17
-When I read something in the bible and choose not to do it, or choose to put it off after I know what I should be doing, that's as much a sin as the aforementioned bad behavior.

"Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you." Col. 3:13
-Notice it doesn't say, "You might think about forgiving if, or when..." It seems like a pretty clear command to me, and now that I've read it, every time I choose not to do it, I sin.

"This is how we know who the children of God are and who the children of the devil are: Anyone who does not do what is right is not a child of God; nor is anyone who does not love his brother. " 1 John 3:10
-Ouch! Wish I hadn't read this one, but I think it speaks for itself.

I need to forgive him, no matter how hurt I am. I need to, but don't want to. I need to, but I'm not sure how to. So, I am asking God to teach me. He will not give us a command and then refuse to help us follow through. If you are one of those out there praying for me, please ask God to show me what this true forgiveness looks like and show me how to start doing it in my own heart.