Day 14

My post may be a bit shorter today, because I am relishing the opportunity to get out of town and visit friends who are more like family. It is extremely nice to get away from the madness of my situation, the house we used to live in as a family, and the mounting pressure I've been feeling to figure out how to live life on my own. Today's lesson came up as a result of a conversation we all had about the current state of my life and marriage.

SEE YOUR OWN SIN
I think that in times like these, even our best attempts to focus on forgiving others present us with the temptation to believe that we are almost completely without fault. It is easy for me to say that I was not the perfect wife, but that I truly believe I did the best I could to do what I knew to save my marriage. I'm not the one who went out and found someone else to ease my pain or give my attention to. I'm not the one who lied, and cheated and stole years of my spouse's life away by putting up a facade of peace.

But, I am also not a person who stays every day on the narrow path to holiness. I am also not a person who runs first and foremost to God each time I'm feeling overwhelmed or angry. I do make mistakes, and I do have my own "pet sins" in my life that are all the more tempting now that my marriage has failed.

"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,' when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye." Luke 6:41-4
--How easy it is to fall into the trap of hypocrisy when we are working on forgiving those who have hurt us. If we are not careful, we can become so wrapped up in trying to pray and help others out of their sinful patterns that we completely overlook our own shortcomings. It is a difficult but worthwhile task to begin each day by asking God to help you see the plank in your eye and remove it before moving on to helping others.

"Examine me, O LORD, and try me; Test my mind and my heart. For Your loving kindness is before my eyes, And I have walked in Your truth." Psalm 26:2-3
--We are trying to claim the truth of God's words about forgiveness and the rewards we receive for doing right. We then need to also take note of the truthful words God gives us pertaining to the condition of our hearts. He knows us, inside and out; and He examines our motives on a daily basis. Please, God, help me to see my own wrongs, ask your forgiveness, and turn from my wicked ways in order that I might please you more.