Today is the first day of this project, and I'm already feeling overwhelmed with the amount of work that I will have to do (and let God do in me) to complete it. I'm wishing I hadn't made it public knowledge that I'm doing this so that there wouldn't be anyone around to hold me accountable. I'm already expecting to crash and burn in the forgiveness cycle, and I'm imagining how humiliating and frustrating that will be.
The truth is that my anger and resentment can easily become an addiction. So- like any other addict trying to recover, I'm going to have to take this one day at a time. Today's task may sound easy, but it is one I've had to return to time and time again throughout my life.
BELIEVE GOD. For our Day 1 assignment, we will focus on the fact that God is real, and that when we seek after Him, He will always come to our rescue. Every time. Maybe it won't look to the outside world like we're being rescued, but in our hearts we can know that truth. I am seeking God in this journey of forgiveness, and His word commands me to be forgiving; so I can be sure that He will teach me what I need to do from one day to the next. Today's verse is one of my favorites, and it is a great help to keep it fresh on my mind as I begin this road to healing.
"And without faith it is impossible to please God. Anyone who comes to Him must believe that He exists and they He rewards those who earnestly seek Him." Hebrews 11:6
If you start by reading Hebrews 11 in it's entirety, you will see some amazing examples of people in the Bible who had great faith in their great God. He was able to use them to do amazing things, and they were allowed to be a part as God changed the world time and time again. I so desperately want to be part of something like that. I want to be used by the God of the universe to transform lives and point people toward Christ. BUT, I know full well that God can't use me while I'm still holding on to the wrong that has been done to me or the injustice plaguing my world. It takes genuine faith, and a lot of it, to sit in the center of God's plan for humanity. I hope that today, I am one step closer to doing exactly that.
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I am so proud of you that you would even think to work this out in such a public way with the intent of helping others.
ReplyDeleteForgiveness is one of those lessons that we are asked to repeat over and over through our life times. It is a painful process that often leaves us exhausted and perplexed and asking whay. I have learned that the "why" really is irrelevant, it has nothing to do with us (the victim) and we will never understand how another person is justifying their behavior. It is no longer about them, just about us and how much power we will give this person over our lives. Often just pushing it away is the best we can do, but working it out is by far the better way.
Here are some of my favorite verses when I was in the icy river and still today.
"You are my strength and my song!"
"I will never leave you or forsake you."
"You are my refuge and my strength."
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
I pray that God will cover us all with his mercy, peace and love. I know He will bless this work. IN these times God encourages us, protects us, tolerates us, and LOVES us.
I have prayed every day of you life, that God will protect you and love you. I am trusting Him that He will do all He has promised us and that His love for you will hold you up and bless you in this time.
I am here with you walking this road, swimming in this icy river with you. You are my hero!
Mom
This is so cool that you are doing this. Your strength and compassion and wisdom amazes me again and again. Much love and prayers...AH
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