Day 17

First of all, let me say that I am so thankful that God planted the idea for this blog in my heart a few weeks ago. It has helped me to face my issues head on instead of avoiding them in hopes that they will fix themselves. I can also see that by God's grace, it is spreading around and touching the lives of others who also struggle with the need to forgive someone who has done damage to their hearts and lives. I ask all of the prayer warriors following me through this journey to please continue to lift up all the others who are reading this and hoping to learn their own valuable lessons from Christ. I am so blessed to have each and every one of you in my life, so thank you for your continued support. Now, on to our daily lesson.

TAKE OUT THE TRASH
A couple of years ago, Husband and I went through months of marital counseling. I learned several valuable skills there, but one exercise in particular has proven to be beneficial to me every time I do it. She advised us to each get a sheet of paper and at the top write, "I am angry with _________ because..." Then, you just fill up the paper with as many things as you can think of that make you angry with him or her. You can include the little things, like leaving his socks on the floor, and also the real issues like being unfaithful to your marriage vows. I also believe that this doesn't have to be done within a marriage relationship because it will work just as well to insert the name of a friend, relative, co-worker, etc. So- grab a pen and paper and just spill it. Get it all out, until you can't think of one other thing that's bothering you.

The next step is key. Read your list to God, and let Him see your hurt and bitterness. Then, ask Him to take these thoughts from you and replace them with healthy ones. Do NOT show this paper to any other human being. Especially not the person you are angry with. Remember that our goal here is to eventually find forgiveness, and throwing a person's mistakes in their face is not a step in the right direction. And do NOT keep it. Don't file this junk away in a box that you'll keep forever. Don't write it in your pretty prayer journal where you'll accidentally flip to it during bible study or church. Don't frame it and hang it on your wall as a reminder of all the reasons you have to cut this person out of your life forever.

Instead, treat it like the trash that it is. Tear it into tiny pieces and throw it in the garbage can. Or go to a safe place, light one corner of the paper on fire, and watch it burn with the heat from your wounded pride. You get the idea. Destroy these thoughts before they destroy you. If you need to make a new list every day until the day comes when you feel like you're past the anger, then do it. If we keep these thoughts in our heads, these feelings in our hearts, and these regrets in our souls, soon we have let ourselves be filled with trash. And then there's no room for treasure. Anger is like the root of a fruit bearing plant. Everything that grows up from that root, pretty or not, will leave a bitter taste in the mouth of anyone who samples it.

"No good tree bears bad fruit, nor does a bad tree bear good fruit. Each tree is recognized by its own fruit. People do not pick figs from thornbushes, or grapes from briers. The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks." Luke 6:43-45
--The simple fact is that if we let our anger and resentment fester in our hearts, it will eventually come out in our words and actions. Others will see what is really happening inside us, no matter how hard we try to appear differently.

"You're familiar with the command to the ancients, 'Do not murder.' I'm telling you that anyone who is so much as angry with a brother or sister is guilty of murder. Carelessly call a brother 'idiot!' and you just might find yourself hauled into court. Thoughtlessly yell 'stupid!' at a sister and you are on the brink of hellfire. The simple moral fact is that words kill." Matt. 5:21-22
--Getting things out of my head by writing it down and sharing it only with God prevents me from sinning later by spewing my hateful thoughts to other people or to the offender himself.