Day 32: The Pain is Only Part of the Process.

I thought I was going to have a hard time writing today. It's just been one of those days. I'm sure the fact that yesterday was amazing led to part of the let down of today's reality check, but I think I was probably just due for a little suffering. I didn't have any great spiritual revelations mingled into the mundane tasks of my day, and no one came in at just the right time with just the perfect encouraging word as I was rolling around in the mire of my circumstances. God wasn't absent, mind you, He just wasn't all that obvious either.

So this funk I'd been in led me to sit down for some alone time with God after tucking my sweet blessings into their beds. I sat for a moment, staring blankly at a stack of devotionals, bibles, concordances, and how-to manuals; wondering where to go for a fresh encounter with God. I opened one book and read the page marked with today's date, and it was moderately inspiring. I perused through my study bible, specifically stopping on the inserted page that emphasized forgiveness. Then, I followed Paul through a few chapters of Romans, gaining several new insights along the way.

I soon found my mind starting to wander, as it often does when you suffer from both ADD and sleep deprivation, to a friend of mine who has an unbelievably rough day ahead of her tomorrow. I found myself thinking that I needed to remember to pray for her, so I stopped my research and began to talk to God about her situation. I was quickly struck by the feeling that this situation was much too big to be covered with a passing prayer while sitting on my couch. So I got on the floor, on my face, in a posture more fitting for a sinner like me to be convening with a holy God.

You see, this friend is a single mother who adopted two adorable brothers from the foster care system when the youngest was an infant and the big brother around 3 years old. She has been an amazing mother to them, providing unconditional love and support, and raising them in a stable home and church environment. But with all her work and love, the oldest, now 6, has not been able to completely overcome some of the issues caused by abusive foster parents when he was still a toddler. Tomorrow, after exhausting every other outlet for therapy and help, she will take her sweet little boy to a residential treatment facility where he will have to remain for several months. She is heartbroken, he is afraid, and we all still know that this is God's best provision in this terrible situation.

As I lay there, face down asking for yet another miracle, I found myself asking God to take away their pain. Then, as I realized the absurdity of that request in relation to this situation I literally started to laugh out loud.

THE PAIN IS ONLY PART OF THE PROCESS.
Take it away? I thought, still slightly amused by the idea that I thought it possible for a mother to walk up to the doors of such a place, hand over her young son, kiss his forehead, and both of them cheerfully wave goodbye to each other without experiencing any pain. The pain has to be present, and it will be real. So how do I pray for them, knowing the kind of days and weeks they have coming?

I looked at my own life and realized that the pain I've experienced, just as the bible states, really has produced things like perseverance and renewed faith as we go through trials we never asked for or anticipated. So I will ask God, and expect Him, to produce all of those great gifts in my friend and her son. I will ask Him to use this situation of desperation and loneliness to draw that sweet boy so close to His heart that he can audibly hear it beating with the lavish love God has for him. I will ask that, through the pain, the mercy, and the sorrow, God will bind up their wounds and make theirs a story that displays His grace to all those around them. And I will pray for them, just as I've prayed for myself and my own children through our recent crisis, to simply keep breathing and knowing that God is in control.

"Come, let us return to the Lord. He has torn us to pieces but he will heal us; he has injured us but he will bind up our wounds. After two days he will revive us; on the third day he will restore us, that we may live in his presence. Let us acknowledge the Lord; let us press on to acknowledge him. As surely as the sun rises, he will appear; he will come to us like the winter rains, like the spring rains that water the earth." Hosea 6:1-3

"The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. A righteous man may have many troubles, but the LORD delivers him from them all."
Psalm 34: 18-19